Gavin Newsom Hanged!

This last week has been busy at GITMO. Here is the first one.

This was done on Monday Jan 24th. From our friends at RRN- Disgraced California Governor Gavin Newsom left his Camp Delta cell at 6:30 a.m. and was driven to the gallows that had been erected on the base’s southern corner, near Leeward Point Field, a military airfield under “White Hat” control and end point for Deep Staters destined to face the hangman’s noose.

Dressed in an unflattering detainee jumpsuit and loafers too large for his feet, Newsom cast a menacing scowl at both Rear Adm. Darse E. Crandall and the delegation of military brass, that stood assembled in a semi-circle, before the ghoulish apparatus. A tenured Republican governor and another prominent, conservative politician were also in attendance, though RRN was asked to conceal their identities.

As Newsom’s MP guard escorted him to the base of the gallows, a member of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers stood atop the platform performing a final structural integrity check on the framework and the pivoting floor door Newsom would soon be standing on. Satisfied the gallows were in working order, he departed the platform and was replaced by the anonymous soldier, responsible for slipping Newsom’s head into the noose and pressing the button that would drop him, until his neck snapped.

Without hesitation or prompting from his guard, Newsom climbed the steps and then remained still as the braided noose was tightened around his neck.I get this picture in my head, that he is standing tall, with his chin in the air, an arrogant sob. Seems so in character for him.

Rear Adm. Crandall spoke: “Gavin Newsom, you’ve been sentenced to hang, having been convicted of treason and unspeakable crimes against children, by a military commission. As is customary, do you want Last Rites or care to speak any last words?”

“Yeah, you’re all pawns here, including you Crandall. You feed on the belief you’re righting wrongs, that you’re in some kind of position of power allowing you, a nothing, the authority to judge what is black and what is white. You know what I feed on? I feed on fear and pleasure. I was chosen to rule. You say I blaspheme, but what I did, I did because I can and because it feels good. You think you’re killing me today but it’s an illusion,” Newsom hissed.

“It’s far too late for an insanity defense,” Rear Adm. Crandall called out.

“Ready when you are, Crandall,” Newsom spat, and his English suddenly became what can be described only as some cadence of tongues. His tongue flicked in and out of his mouth much like a serpent. “Vermes et vermiculi comedent animam tuam,” Newsom said in Latin. I translated this and it means, “Worms and little worms will eat your soul.” This is definitely some satanic cult bullshit.

“We should’ve known he’s bigtime crazy,” said one of the politicians in attendance.

Rear Adm. Crandall instructed the soldier atop the platform to press the button, and a moment later Newsom’s lifeless body dangled from the rope. A Navy physician felt for a pulse and moved a stethoscope over Newsom’s chest.

“He’s gone,” the physician said, and pronounced Newsom dead at 7:35 a.m. (EST). Newsom’s corpse was sealed in a polyurethane bag and taken to an unknown location.

Next up Cheney and Anita Dunn’s Tribunal. This guy was 1 sick bastard.

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