On Monday, May 16th, a handcuffed and bedraggled Baldwin entered Guantanamo Bay’s south courtroom. He was arrested for committing heinous crimes against children, more specifically, child molestation. He molested several young teens including his own daughter, Ireland. The investigation started in October of last year. President Donald J. Trump reached out and did a personal investigation into whether or not Alec had intentionally shot and killed Halyna Hutches. That investigation was inclusive, however, Trump’s investigators uncovered information that linked Baldwin to crimes against children. Besides abusing Ireland, Baldwin tried to persuade her into “daughter swapping”. Trump handed his findings over to the Office of Military Commissions (OMC), which spent six months corroborating Trump’s data and ferreting out the sinister details of Baldwin’s criminal malfeasance.

They arrested Baldwin, at his home, in East Hampton, New York on May 1st and sent him to Guantanamo Bay to await a military tribunal.

As soon as he entered the courtroom, he began spewing obscenities at both Vice Adm. Darse E. Crandall and a female paralegal who was scrutinizing paperwork at the prosecutor’s table.

“F*** all you mother******, you and Trump,” Baldwin spat. His crazy eyes flashed open as he gawked at the female officer. “I see you there, honey.” He waggled his tongue at her. “The law wouldn’t indict me because I’m innocent, so you and Humpy Dumpty Trump are witch-hunting me because he has an axe to grind. Well, f*** all of you.”

“Another outburst and you’ll be gagged,” Vice Adm. Crandall said, his voice thick with exasperation.

Baldwin drew his thumb and index finger across his lips in a zippering gesture, ostensibly mocking the court.

Vice Adm. Crandall orated a brief opening statement, then swiftly called his first witness. It was Baldwin’s daughter Ireland, appearing on ZOOM. When Baldwin saw her face, he hopped from his chair and started shouting at the screen: “You disgusting, little lying piggy, you’ll pay for this, you and your mother,” Baldwin hissed.

GITMO security shackled Baldwin’s legs and gagged his mouth.

“Maybe now you’ll be more civil,” Vice Adm. Crandall said.

Ireland gave a tearful testimony. She spent 45 minutes describing how her father had begun molesting and raping her on her 10^th Birthday. Baldwin, she said, would frequently receive adrenochrome infusions that sent him spiraling into a sexual frenzy targeting any young female in his field of vision. She said her father fed her Rohypnol, more commonly known as the “date rape” drug, which in high doses causes amnesia, loss of inhibitions, and loss of consciousness.

“When he was doing it to me, I didn’t know. And when he was done, I couldn’t remember,” Ireland said. “It was systemic. My mother knew, but she had kept quiet to protect the family name. After a while, he didn’t bother with the drug. When I was 11, he said he wanted me to ‘play with’ a friend of his who was a doctor with a daughter around my age. The implication was that this doctor would be raping me while my father raped his daughter, in the same bed, in the same room. That’s when I ran, and my mother sheltered me. Only later did I learn that the doctor was Dr. McCoy L. Moretz and his actress-daughter Chloe Grace, both were into the scene.”

Vice Admiral Crandall asked: “Other than your words, do you have other evidence to support your claims of molestation and abuse?”

“The images I’ve given you,” she replied. “I found these years later in my father’s private room. It seems he liked to take pictures.”

Vice Adm. Crandall showed the panel digital images and polaroid pictures of a naked Alec Baldwin flopping atop obviously underage girls, all of whom, Ireland assumed, Alec had drugged before penetrating them.

“He once told me he liked to give girls medicine,” Ireland said.

Vice Adm. Crandall said that JAG had identified the other women, but none were willing to testify against Baldwin. Even so, the panel tasked with weighing JAG’s evidence found Ireland’s testimony compelling enough to deliver a swift verdict of guilty, recommending that Baldwin, a sexual predator, be hanged for his ‘unforgivable’ sins.

“So be it,” Vice Adm. Crandall uttered. “Sentence to be carried out on the 1st of June.”